Chapter 16: Use a Decision Matrix When Everything Feels Confusing
Chapter 16

Use a Decision Matrix When Everything Feels Confusing

Decision Tool

3x3 Decision Matrix

Here’s a simple 3-step version of the classic decision matrix.
You can do this with paper, Excel, or even your Notes app.

Step 1: List your options

Make a list of the 2–5 choices you’re trying to decide between.

Example:

  • Stay at current job
  • Take a new job offer
  • Freelance full-time
  • Go back to school

Step 2: Choose 3–5 decision criteria that matter to you

This is crucial. Don’t just use generic factors — pick the ones that reflect your values and needs.

Examples:

  • Growth potential
  • Stability
  • Lifestyle fit
  • Learning opportunity
  • Financial upside
  • Alignment with long-term goals

Step 3: Score each option (1–5) for each factor

Be honest. Don’t overthink. Just go with your current sense of things.

Then total the scores (optional — or just look for patterns).

Here’s an example:

Criteria

Stay Job

New Job

Freelance

School

Growth Potential

2

4

5

4

Financial Upside

3

4

3

1

Lifestyle Fit

4

3

5

2

Stability

5

3

2

1

Alignment w/ Goals

3

4

5

4

Total Score

17

18

20

12

The numbers don’t make the decision for you — but now you see where the real value lies.

🟢 Bonus: Add weight to criteria if some matter more than others (e.g., double the score for alignment or stability).

LAND IT WELL

Opening Hook

You’re staring at too many tabs, too many pros and cons, and too many “what ifs.”

Your brain feels like a browser with 37 windows open — and no clarity in sight.

The Big Shift

When decisions feel overwhelming, it’s usually not because you have no good options.
It’s because you have too many variables competing for attention — and no clear way to compare them.

You’re juggling questions like:

  • Which option is best in the long run?
  • Which one feels more doable now?
  • Am I being practical — or selling myself short?

The Decision Matrix doesn’t give you a magical answer.
What it does is pull your options out of your head and onto the table, where you can see them side by side.

Confusion thrives in your head.
Clarity begins when you give your brain a structure.

EXPLAIN AND EXPAND

Core Idea / Explanation

When you’re trying to choose between multiple options — a few colleges, job offers, career paths, or personal commitments — your mind struggles to weigh everything at once.

Each option looks good on one metric, weak on another, and emotionally complicated in a third.

You toggle back and forth, overthink, get tired, delay, and end up stuck.

That’s where a Decision Matrix helps.

It gives you a simple, visual framework to:

  • Identify what truly matters to you
  • Compare each option across the same criteria
  • Spot patterns of alignment
  • Take the emotion out long enough to think clearly

It doesn’t make the choice for you.
But it reveals what you couldn’t see when everything was tangled.

Zoom Out

The Decision Matrix helps you shift from reactive to reflective.

It slows down emotional noise and gives you a repeatable strategy for future decisions.

The real power isn’t in the numbers — it’s in the externalized thinking.

Because when you take your decision-making out of your head and into a structured format, you:

  • Spot blind spots
  • Catch emotional overweights
  • Gain confidence in your direction
  • Reduce the regret loop

This is the same model executives, engineers, and product teams use when stakes are high and options are unclear.

It works — because it’s simple, logical, and human-centered.

You’re not guessing anymore.
You’re seeing with structure.

Mini Example

Let’s say you’re trying to decide between:

  • A job at a fast-growing startup
  • A secure corporate offer
  • Staying at your current role

You’re confused because:

  • The startup feels exciting, but risky
  • The corporate role is solid, but uninspiring
  • Your current job is comfortable, but going nowhere

You choose 4 criteria:

  • Energy (how it makes you feel)
  • Financial growth
  • Learning potential
  • Long-term alignment

You score each option.

Suddenly, it’s clear:
The startup scores highest in energy and growth — and feels aligned with where you want to be.

Now you have emotional and analytical clarity — and that’s what moves you forward.

MAKE PERSONAL

Reflection Prompt

Before using the tool, pause and ask:

  • What am I actually choosing between?
  • What’s making this confusing — too many options, too many priorities, or too much pressure?
  • What do I really want to factor into this decision?

This helps ground your thinking before you plug into the framework.

Recap Box

Key Insight: When everything feels confusing, structure brings clarity.
Tool: 3x3 Decision Matrix — list your options, define 3–5 criteria, score, compare, and reflect.
Why it matters: This tool doesn’t give you answers — it reveals what you already feel and know, clearly enough to act on it.

Encouraging Close

You’re not indecisive.
You’re overloaded.

And sometimes, all you need is a way to line things up, compare them clearly, and give yourself permission to see what’s been obvious all along.

Use the matrix. Score honestly. Step back.

Then make your move — not with anxiety, but with alignment.

Your Brain Is a Terrible Spreadsheet

Let’s be honest — your brain wasn’t built to compare five things across four variables with emotional weight attached.

It’s not a spreadsheet. It’s a pattern-seeking, emotionally-driven storyteller.

And that’s okay — if you give it the right support.

A decision matrix is like a lens upgrade for your brain.
It shows you what you already know — just more clearly.